Too many marriages in the U.S. end in divorce. Most people understand the risks that marriage brings, but no one gets married with the expectation of dealing with divorce. Divorce ranks as one of the most stressful situations anyone can go through. Dealing with a divorce is one huge headache. It requires patience and stamina. There are no shortcuts.
But getting over a divorce doesn’t have to take years. How long it takes is largely up to you. There is a path out of your current pain. Time is an important part of that path.
These tips will help you move on after your divorce:
1. Give yourself time before dating again. How much time you require is an individual decision. No reason to rush into it. When you begin dating before you’re ready, not only are you potentially creating additional challenges for yourself, but consider your dates, too! They might be getting more than they bargained for. Take the necessary time to heal.
2. Take the opportunity to change your life. Now might be the perfect time to join a gym, start a new hobby, or travel. When you’re married, you have to accommodate the needs and wishes of another person. You can give yourself more consideration for a change. Find out about the fun you!
• What would you like to change about yourself and your life?
3. Learn from your divorce. What went wrong? What did you learn? What were the good and bad qualities of your partner? What type of person do you believe would be the best match for you? What mistakes did you make along the way?
• A divorce is painful, but a great learning opportunity. You can have much more confidence in your next relationship if you use what you learn.
4. Forgive. You can’t truly move on until you’ve forgiven your ex-spouse. This may take time. But you’re never really free until you’re able to forgive. That does not mean you have to speak to them. Forgiveness is something you do. You can write a letter to your ex and burn it.
5. Get the support you need. This might take the form of a friend or family member. This may mean making new friends. There are also support groups for the newly divorced. Avoid the mistake of attempting to navigate your healing process alone.
6. Maintain your daily routines. This means to continue to bathe, brush your teeth, and so on each day. Continue to eat healthy meals. Go to bed at your normal time. Keep your normal social outings. It’s easy to fall into a slump and to allow the quality of your life to deteriorate. Some things will change, but many things can stay the same.
7. Avoid making your situation worse. This isn’t the time to overeat, drink excessively, or start using drugs. A rebound relationship also isn’t advised. Get your feet back on the ground and avoid doing anything that can make your challenging circumstances ever harder.
8. Get out of the house. Not only can you keep your previous social schedule, you can consider adding to it. Join a yoga class or a golf league. Create something new that you can enjoy with others. You won’t find any solutions while you’re sitting on the couch, staring out the window.
9. Share your feelings with a divorced friend. It’s important to talk to someone who has had the same experience. Confide in someone that has successfully moved on from divorce.
Divorce is stressful and unsettling. There are almost 900,000 divorces each year in the United States. You’re certainly not alone. Give yourself time to grieve and heal. In time, your life can be even better than it was before. Use this opportunity to reinvent yourself and your life.