Love – to love and be loved – is one of the greatest joys of the human life experience. Unfortunately, it can also go very wrong. You could end up abused, neglected, and miserable – or worse.
It’s important to make wise choices in your relationships so your experiences with love can bring joy and fulfillment to your life.
Letting your heart rule your head is romantic, but you can keep yourself safe, both emotionally and physically, by making sure your head is at least involved in the decision making. When it comes to romantic partners, spotting any red flags that appear will help you have only healthy, strong relationships.
Another important consideration is your personal desire for a relationship. What, specifically, are you searching for? Are you doing the right things and going to the places that will attract someone who’s a good fit for you? Or are you just looking for anyone?
Finding the Right Person Through Understanding Yourself
When you’re looking for Mr. or Ms. Right, there are techniques you can use that will contribute to your success in finding who you’re looking for. The first thing you should do is to ensure you’re ready for the kind of relationship you’re looking for.
Here are some tips to prepare for a great relationship:
1. Be comfortable with being alone. Are you content with being on your own? Any romantic relationship you enter into should be because you care about that person and yourself. If it’s only to avoid being lonely, it’s probably not the best choice for you.
2. Know what you want out of life. When looking for a person to share your life with, you want one who shares your goals, dreams, and values. Avoid settling for less because your long-term happiness could be affected – and so could the happiness of your partner. Do you want a room-mate or a spouse? If you don’t want a room-mate don’t let him move-in with you. Go for what you want.
3. Stay focused on your goals. Giving up your dreams and desires for someone else seldom works well. Seek out a person who encourages you to pursue your dreams. When you’ve found one, that’s someone worth paying attention to!
4. Remember it’s not a race. Choosing someone just so you aren’t alone is unfair to both of you. The person you’re looking for will appear when the time is right. Avoid trying to force it. Your time will come, when you least expect it! As hard as it may be, try to be patient. I met my current husband when I least expected it. I was in grad school and needed a tutor for linear regression. Doesn’t sound very romantic. Well, the tutor came to my apartment and that tutor is now my husband. He also adopted my son. I was not in any way looking for someone.
Relationships Are More Than Just Romance
Healthy relationships come in all types and sometimes they aren’t romantic. The friends you have, the people you work with, and even the family members you spend the most time with can all impact how you feel about yourself and your life.
The truth is, intimacy is far more than romance. Intimacy is a closeness of mind, body, and soul that fulfills all dimensions and needs. If you’re feeling an imbalance or you’re feeling used, confront the other person or get out of the relationship. All intimate relationships must be mutually beneficial, healthy, and happy.
Choosing relationships wisely can really make an important difference in your life. People who care for you will support and uplift you, rather than drag you down. Surround yourself with people who support you and share your goals, dreams, and values.
When you avoid harmful relationships, you’ll gain a healthy confidence that will benefit both your physical and mental health. Keep these relationship red flags and tips in mind so you can attract positive, healthy people into your life!